Thread: London / cockney slang

Here's some useful phrases for when visiting London.

aeroplane blond - one who has dyed her hair but still has a 'black box"!
aeroplane skirt - a skirt with a very long slit up it that goes all the way up to the 'cockpit'. Suggested by Matthew Harris.
April in Paris - a bit of a weird one this. This is taking well-known complex bit of Rhyming Slang to the next level! 'April in Paris' = 'Aris' = 'Aristotle' = 'bottle' = 'bottle and glass' = 'arse' ! Suggested by Alec Sterling.
back wheels - balls, testicles.

badly packed kebab - too rude for BA

Barry White - Modern Rhyming Slang for '****e' (northern sounding version of sh!t). e.g. "Just nipping out for a Barry!". Suggested by Matt Rodway.
Bazil Brush - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'thrush' (the condition). Suggested by Lee McCloud. Also 'dust pan and brush'.
Beatrix Potter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'rotter' (ugly 'bird'), e.g. "Blimey, will you look at that bird Tim's with. A bit of a Beatrix!". Suggested by Tim Green.
beer scooter - the ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it, i.e. "I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have got the beer scooter".
Billy Bunter's - Modern (?) Rhyming Slang for 'punters' (customers), e.g. "Oi John, there's some Billys on the forecourt". Suggested by Gary Foster.
Billy-two-sheds - an excellent one on the same lines as 'Billy-no-mates'. The sort of bloke who, no matter what you have, always has one more or does one better. Suggested by Chris Donnelly.
Bob Marley - another Modern Rhyming Slang term for 'charlie' (cocaine). If used in it's short form (i.e. 'Bob') it could be confused with the older term 'Bob Hope' (dope).
Brad Pitt - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'sh!t'. This seems to be a relatively popular one at the moment.
Britney Spears - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Give us a couple of Britneys will ya Doreen". Suggested by Max Barber as seen on 'The Big Breakfast' TV show.
Bruce Lees - erect nipples (as in a pair of hard 'nips'). Suggested by Helen Shemilt.
budgie's tongue - clitoris, e.g. "You know how it is mate, you find the budgie's tongue and bingo!". Suggested by Neville Ackerman.
Bum Gravy - This one speaks for itself ! You may get this after a dodgy ruby. Suggested by Keith Giles.
bunny boiler - an unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. "I don't like the look of her mate, could be a bunny boiler". Suggested by Paul Webb and also by Tristian Paramor.
busted sofa - an excellent term for an overweight woman wearing a tight dress/trousers. Suggested by Ray Connor.
Cecil (Gee) - a new slang term for a thousand pounds (a 'G' is an old term for a 'grand' which is a thousand). Used by Johhny Vaughn and heard by Matt Helm.
cheesy quaver - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'raver'. Suggested by Philipp Thuering who says he saw this one in a book.
Chevy Chase - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face', e.g. "Nice Mystics shame about the Chevy".
chicken jalfrezi - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'crazy'. Chris Kelly suggested this one.
chubby chaser - a person attracted to fat people (usually after much beer). Suggested by Paula.
council gritter - Modern Rhyming Slang for '****ter', e.g. "Does she take it up the council?". Suggested by Sean Perry.
cup fart - the funny sound made when you don't quite slurp your tea. Suggested by Smitty.
custard pie - meaning: turned down by a girl, i.e. "I got the custard pie from that bird over there". (Suggested by Tamir Young.)
Danny La Rue - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'clue', i.e. "I haven't a Danny mate!". Suggested by Andy Lock.
David Gower - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shower', e.g. "Give us half an hour mate, I've gotta go for a David".
Donald Trump - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dump' (defecate), e.g. "I'm just nipping out for a Donald".
drink-link - a modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze! Suggested by Allan.
drop the kids off at the pool - to defecate. This seems like a popular one at the moment and has been suggested by many. Maybe originates from the comic Viz, although Gregg from the USA reports that this was popular there in the early 80s.
drum and bass - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'face', i.e. "Nice body, shame about the drum". Suggested by John Mortimer.
Easy Rider - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'cider', i.e. "Give us a pinta Easy mate". Suggested by Brian MacDonald.
Edinburgh Fringe - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'minge' (vagina). Suggested by Alan.
Elephant and Castle - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'arsehole'. From the well-known area in London. I have heard this before but am not sure how widespread it is. Suggested by Malcolm Kinsley.
Euaned - to get very drunk. A reference to Tony Blair's son's drunken antics reported in the press. e.g. "I got completely Euaned last night !". Thanks to Sam Sharp.



there's morehere but i dont have time to edit them all

Some other useful phrases for visiting London include;

Can you repeat that in English please.
You want how much for that bottle of water.
Wow, this Chef must be something. He's turned palatable ingredients into something with the flavour and texture of cardboard
You want to charge me how much for parking my car outside my house.
You want to charge me how much for driving my car into London
You want to charge me how much for parking my car in your car park
Wow, I love the stench and grime. Kind of Dickensian don't you think?
So the Central Line is down again. Does this happen often?
You want to charge me how much for that train ticket.

What does that have to do with rhyming slang ?

Originally Posted by ophidian

What does that have to do with rhyming slang ?

Chillax dude, it's only a joke. Hope you're not this touchy all the time. No one had replied to Aldo's post so I didn't want her feeling left out.

No I'm not touchy at all, just get a bit defensive because of idiots elsewhere.
Why do you refer to Aldo as a women when it seems very obvious he isn't ?

its their silly game ophidian, bust to just go with it. They hate it that we all get on well here and are trying their best to ruin it. Sad really but quite entertaining.

Sorry if I caused offence. Some names on here are not gender specific like your own Ophidian. How can I tell even your own gender from faceless, toneless and emotionless text. With regards to Aldo, my mind mistook the name as being femenine. Probably because of the womans clothing store of the same name. So you see...........not so obvious afterall.

no worries percy, just try to keep it friendly and i'm sure we'll all get along fine.

:policeman: ello, ello, ello and whats been going on here then ?

no doom n gloom to see here peacock, wouldn't interest you.