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    Thread: Leaving your life & loved ones behind


    1. #1
      DMM
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      Leaving your life & loved ones behind

      Have lived here for 2 years and still not settled. Missing my family, friends and the uk very much still. I'm not one for change and don't like it at all really but moved here anyway! I live here with my husband and 3 children who I adore. My happiness is very low and I have lost the old me. As much as I have been trying to settle, it just never seems to get easier, why is that!? I have been told by a family member, 'I am selfish and that it would be unfair for me to take us all back to uk just for me". A little hurtful to say the least. I think they have forgotton I was not selfish and unfair when I agreed to immigrate and leave the ones I love. As the clock ticks I just feel more desire to go back home. The kids are young and will be happy where ever they live as along as we are all together as a family. My daughter said if she could have one wish, it would for her mum to be happy again, which really upsets me, as they can see my unhappiness. So if there is anyone in my shoes who can enlighten me, please do, as I am running out of steam and tears!
      Last edited by DMM; 02-12-2009 at 06:01 AM.

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    3. #2

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      purple is on a distinguished road
      Too many things to mention.

      Everyone gets homesick sometimes, well most of us. The holiday times are the worst.

      From what you wrote, you almost sound like you didn't really want to emigrate to Canada, so why did you? There must have been a reason to leave England.

      Two years isn't a long time, especially if you already made your mind up that you'll never be happy in Canada. If you feel you gave it a fair shot, then whats the problem with talking to your husband and sorting it out?
      I read a study that suggests that almost 70% of people that emigrate eventually end up moving back to their country of origin. I'm not sure how accurate those figures are, but there's obviously a lot of people that do it.
      So there's no shame in returning just because things didnt work out.

      You can try and assimilate, and get new friends. Broaden your circle of people that you know and try and see it all as a positive thing. Take the positives of having the chance at a new life.

      Of course, we only get one chance at life (IMHO) so it's pretty well essential to be happy while we're here. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to make that happen. If it means moving back to the UK, then it's not that big of a deal. It doesn't matter what that "family member" or anyone else thinks. What you do in your own family unit is none of their business, it's yours, right?

      Ever heard the saying "if momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy?" Well it's true.

      You said your kids will be happy living anywhere, so exactly where does that leave your husband? Time for a talk to him isn't it? :idea:

      All the best.
      Andy Chapman and DMM like this.

    4. #3

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      magnusiax is on a distinguished road
      That is part of life.

    5. #4

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      Hi

      I must admit i get homesick alot sadly. I just have to deal with it now ive made my bed so i have to lay in it. I moved here in 2007 after a nasty and messy divorce i knew my now husband before i came here we set up life together and that is wonderful. I have to boys they live with my ex husband back in the UK bradley is 16 and Nicholas is 20 i miss them more than words can say. I got married in june and my sons and friends came over for the wedding i think that was the hardest part letting them go back home. As ive now applied to stay permant here i cant leave until my paperwork is completed and as i dont no when that will be i can visit the UK until it does. I find it hard like when my mum had to go into a nursing home as her 24 hr care broke down she back home now thank god. When Nick and his gf spilt up all i could do was talk on the web cam and telephone all i wanted to do was give him a big hug. The upside is when they visit me they have time to talk and do mum and boy stuff instead of when i was home they was to busy with there lives rushing around never had that time. They visit 3 times a year when they go home i ball like a baby for days then i get an email from them telling me wot a great time they had and cant wait for there next visit

      It isnt easy i hope u can over your feelings canada has so much to offer

      take care

      lorraine
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    6. #5
      DMM
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      I really admire your strength. To have your 2 son's and your mum living in the UK must be very sad for you but when your all together you get that quality time with them.
      I am from Essex too, Chingford!

      I am going back in the new year for a visit and hopefully this will help make my final decision.

      Take Care

    7. #6
      DMM
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      Thanks for your kind words and it's so nice that someone can see where I'm coming from. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me! I'm going back in the new year for a visit and am certain this will help me make my final decision once and for all.

      Take Care

    8. #7

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      lozzie is on a distinguished road
      Hi Dmm

      Nothing wrong with u honest its hard new country new job new friends children just seem to make friends easy. I thought as im an army brat i was adjust better but nope i was young then. I live in an apartment building and dont really see many people i have made a few friends and my new inlaws are wonder. I can work at the moment dont have a work visa but i do some volunteering for the canadian red cross this has been my life line.

      take care have a great trip back to the UK not sure how long u have been here but maybe going back u will notice a big change and the will help u made canada your home.

      lorraine

    9. #8

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      lozzie is on a distinguished road
      Hi

      i lived in South Ockendon near upminster small world my time with my boys are amazing i dont have see them rushing to football cricket rugby and i dont miss being mums taxi lol

    10. #9

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      skink is on a distinguished road
      DMM - it's not easy moving country especially when you've got family back in the "homeland".

      As another poster said, try and expand your circle of friends there. With young kids, I guess that limits you but check around all the forums - you may find some other people like you in the same boat.

      Another thing - if you've not done it already, get on skype, pester all your friends and family to get on it, then you can chat face-to-face with them for nothing. Almost like having them there.

      Best of luck.
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    11. #10

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      i was missing home alot but the rest of my family all seemed fine! the first six years were really difficult........seems along time 6 years but i was busy working and being part of a family...anyone after a while i learned the language made some friends and didn't feel so much of an outsider....it is difficult I really understand how you feel but keep at it....i am sooo happy now and would never go back to the UK. My family are realy happy we have a great life and my children speak three languages and are getting on really well.........keep at it and good luck

     

     
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