Welcome to British Expats Abroad
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    1. #11
      very good, need a bit of humour especialy now with the brain working overtime and trying to work, shop and get ready for xmas, keep the going love it:laughxmas::laughxmas:

    2. Moneycorp - Commercial foreign exchange since 1979
    3. #12
      Andy Chapman
      Thanks Sheila,nice to have you back.

    4. #13
      Andy Chapman


      Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money ..:tonguexmas:

      by Pam Ayres

      It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
      The shops was full of cheer,
      With tinsel in the windows,
      And presents twice as dear.
      A thousand Father Christmases,
      Sat in their little huts,
      And folk was buying crackers
      And folk was buying nuts.

      All up and down the country,
      Before the light was snuffed,
      Turkeys they get murdered,
      And cockerels they got stuffed,
      Christmas cakes got marzipanned,
      And puddin's they got steamed
      Mothers they got desperate
      And tired kiddies screamed.

      Hundredweight's of Christmas cards,
      Went flying through the post,
      With first class postage stamps on those,
      You had to flatter most.
      Within a million kitchens,
      Mince pies was being made,
      On everyone's radio,
      "White Christmas", it was played.

      Out in the frozen countryside
      Men crept round on their own,
      Hacking off the holly,
      What other folks had grown,
      Mistletoe on willow trees,
      Was by a man wrenched clear,
      So he could kiss his neighbour's wife,
      He'd fancied all the year.

      And out upon the hillside,
      Where the Christmas trees had stood,
      All was completely barren,
      But for little stumps of wood,
      The little trees that flourished
      All the year were there no more,
      But in a million houses,
      Dropped their needles on the floor.

      And out of every cranny, cupboard,
      Hiding place and nook,
      Little bikes and kiddies' trikes,
      Were secretively took,
      Yards of wrapping paper,
      Was rustled round about,
      And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms,
      With the pedals sticking out.

      Rolled up in Christmas paper
      The Action Men were tensed,
      All ready for the morning,
      When their fighting life commenced,
      With tommy guns and daggers,
      All clustered round about,
      "Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men"
      The figures seemed to shout.

      The church was standing empty,
      The pub was standing packed,
      There came a yell, "Noel, Noel!"
      And glasses they got cracked.
      From up above the fireplace,
      Christmas cards began to fall,
      And trodden on the floor, said:
      "Merry Christmas, to you all."

    5. #14
      Andy Chapman

      On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me, I'm glad we've bought a turkey and a proper Christmas tree.

      On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard as we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.

      On the third day of Christmas we'd friends in from next door. The turkey tasted just as good as on the day before.

      On the fourth day of Christmas Gran came, she's rather old. We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey cold.

      On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried but we were nice and warm inside - we ate the turkey - curried.

      On the sixth day of Christmas the turkey spirit died. The children fought and bickered and we ate the turkey - fried.

      On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave a wince when he sat down to dinner and was given turkey mince.

      On the eighth day of Christmas the dog ran off for shelter. I served up turkey pancakes and a glass of Alka Seltzer.

      On the ninth day of Christmas poor Dad began to cry. He said he couldn't stand the strain of eating turkey pie.

      On the tenth day of Christmas the air was rather blue and everybody grumbled at eating turkey stew.

      On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting. Mince pies as hard as rock and the turkey quite revolting.

      On the twelfth day of Christmas at last Dad smacked his lips. The guests had gone, the turkey too - we dined on fish and chips!

    6. #15
      Andy Chapman


      Don't pass this by, just click on it and see my message to all that visit B-A



    7. #16
      Andy Chapman
      Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

      Have a go at this, its cool.

      When you finish putting it together, watch what happens.

    8. #17
      Andy Chapman


      A Car For Christmas

      Danny had recently passed his driving test and decided to ask his clergyman father if there was any chance of him getting a car for Christmas, which was yet some months away. 'Okay.' said his father 'I tell you what I'll do. If you can get your 'A' level grades up to 'A's and 'B's, study your bible and get your hair cut, I'll consider the matter very seriously.'

      A couple of months later Danny went back to his father who said 'I'm really impressed by your commitment to your studies. Your grades are excellent and the work you have put into your bible studies is very encouraging. However, I have to say I'm very disappointed that you haven't had your hair cut yet.

      Danny was a smart young man who was never lost for an answer. 'Look dad. In the course of my bible studies I've noticed in the illustrations that Moses, John the Baptist, Samson and even Jesus had long hair.' 'Yes. I'm aware of that...' replied his father '... but did you also notice they walked wherever they went?'


    9. #18
      good one

    10. #19
      Andy Chapman


      A Sunny Christmas....:coolxmas:

      Every year at Christmas time
      There's not a sign of snow.
      Instead we spend our yuletide days
      In the sun's warm cheery glow.

      We have the best of Christmas things,
      The lights, the gifts, the bells,
      (And "snowbirds" who arrive en masse
      To fill our beach hotels.)

      The glorious weather fits right in
      With our happy Christmas mood,
      And we can also walk and run
      Without having to be snowshoed.

      So don't feel bad for your (location) friends
      Who have no snow or ice.
      We think our sunny Christmas here
      Is a holiday paradise.

      :emoticon-signxmas: To all members of Brits - Abroad Forum



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