Thread: Joke

A lady was at the grocery store picking through all the frozen turkeys but couldn't find one big enough for her family. Finally she asked one of the men working there,
"Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?'
"No Ma'am" the guy answered "They're dead"

STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE

A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

Ken ya swaller? Asked Bluey


The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!

With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her butt.

This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'

Originally Posted by Andy Chapman

STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE

Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'

Hilarious!! That's the best one I've read for a long time.

hahah!!!!
I like jokes!!

Royal Mail Recall

Royal Mail created a stamp with a picture of the

British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown

The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

This enraged the Prime Minister, who demanded a full investigation.

After a month of testing and spending of £1.1million, a
special commission presented the following findings:

1. The stamp is in perfect order.


2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp

Something to offend everyone

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?В
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

Hallo everybody
I am a friend from Greece
Iam newbie here

So the welcome post is a joke i found

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

via funny-city.com