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    Thread: Joke


    1. #171
      purple
      A lady was at the grocery store picking through all the frozen turkeys but couldn't find one big enough for her family. Finally she asked one of the men working there,
      "Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?'
      "No Ma'am" the guy answered "They're dead"

    2. Moneycorp - Commercial foreign exchange since 1979
    3. #172
      Andy Chapman
      STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE

      A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.
      After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

      Ken ya swaller? Asked Bluey


      The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

      Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza. The woman shook her head No!!!

      With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her butt.

      This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
      Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

      Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'

    4. #173
      purple
      Quote Originally Posted by Andy Chapman View Post
      STOP CHOKING - AUSSIE STYLE

      Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'
      Hilarious!! That's the best one I've read for a long time.

    5. #174
      cryingdady
      hahah!!!!
      I like jokes!!

    6. #175
      Andy Chapman
      Royal Mail Recall

      Royal Mail created a stamp with a picture of the

      British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown

      The stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

      This enraged the Prime Minister, who demanded a full investigation.

      After a month of testing and spending of 1.1million, a
      special commission presented the following findings:

      1. The stamp is in perfect order.


      2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

      3. People are spitting on the wrong side of the stamp

    7. #176
      purple
      Something to offend everyone

      Why is divorce so expensive?
      Because it's worth it.

      What do you call a smart blonde?
      A golden retriever.

      What do lawyers use for birth control?
      Their personalities.

      What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
      20 kgs.

      What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
      45 minutes.

      What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
      After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

      What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?В
      The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
      driving.

      A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in year 9.
      Who has the biggest boobs?
      The blonde, because she's 18.

    8. #177
      dimitrisrblue

      Speeding blonde

      Hallo everybody
      I am a friend from Greece
      Iam newbie here

      So the welcome post is a joke i found

      A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

      She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

      via funny-city.com

     

     
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