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    Thread: Little Story


    1. #1
      Andy Chapman

      Little Story

      This was written in our local Parish Magazine
      yesterday, had to share it with you.

      Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. But when he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

      One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

      "I may look just like an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and i'll inherit 20 million pounds".

      Impressed the woman obtained his business card and 3 days later, she became his step mother.

      Woman are so much better at estate planning than men.

    2. Moneycorp - Commercial foreign exchange since 1979
    3. #2
      Andy Chapman
      Here's another one.

      Warning Scam ?

      A"heads up" for those men who may be regular Tesco's customers.

      Over the last couple of months I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get grocery supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

      Here's how the scam works:

      Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old European girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a damp rag, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

      When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another DIY store. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

      I had my wallet stolen on June 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also July 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, three times last Saturday and itíll very likely happen again this coming weekend.

      So tell your friends to be careful.

      P.S. Tesco's have wallets on sale at 3 YTL each.

    4. #3
      Andy Chapman
      True Story.

      Workin' at the Car Wash
      2003 Darwin Award Nominee
      Confirmed True by Darwin


      (29 January 2003, Brazil) At work, Manoel Messias Batista Coelho was responsible for cleaning out the storage tanks of gasoline tanker trucks. He had been employed in that capacity for two months when he ran afoul of fuel.

      The 35-year-old began to fill a tanker with water, a standard safety procedure that forces flammable vapor out of the container. He returned an hour later to check whether the water level was high enough to proceed. But he had trouble deciding, because it was so DARK inside the tanker.

      A resourceful employee, Manoel forgot the very reason why he was filling the tank with water when he lit a cigarette lighter to shed some light on the situation. His little test successfully determined that the water level was NOT yet high enough for safety. The vapor explosion launched him through the air, and he landed in the company parking lot 100 meters away.

      Manoel suffered severe burns, blunt force trauma, and an injury to the head that exposed his brain. Our witless car washer had learned his terminal lesson in safety by the time the firemen arrived.

    5. #4

      Title
      Senior Member
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      Andy is on a distinguished road
      Quote Originally Posted by Andy Chapman View Post
      Here's another one.

      Warning Scam ?

      A"heads up" for those men who may be regular Tesco's customers.

      Over the last couple of months I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get grocery supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

      Here's how the scam works:

      Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old European girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a damp rag, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

      When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another DIY store. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

      I had my wallet stolen on June 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also July 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, three times last Saturday and itíll very likely happen again this coming weekend.

      So tell your friends to be careful.

      P.S. Tesco's have wallets on sale at 3 YTL each.
      Hey Andy its another cracker its the way you tell em. Dont suppose you want to move to Canada you would be invited to all the parties
      Cheers Andy

    6. #5
      Andy Chapman
      Quote Originally Posted by sheena View Post
      hey andy, who is the cute boy in your avatar picture??


      sheena
      Hi Sheena

      He's my first great nephew who had his first birthday on the 12th July.

      My 2nd great nephew was born on the 28th so only 3 days old and i'm yet to see him.

      Wish i could call him my own. His name is Ayden & the newborn is Harrison


      Andy, thanks for the offer, i would love to visit Canada but not to emigrate to.
      As for parties, getting a little too old for them, i prefer Bar-b-Q's.

      Plenty of more jokes where these came from